Permission to take off

As a 29-year-old woman, I am well aware that I am no longer a "spring chicken." I am slowly but surely creeping towards the winter stages of my life. This would not have bothered me so much if I had actually done something aside from BREATHING! DRASTIC action is needed! Thus, the plan for the next two years of my life took form:

My plan of action is:

1. Learn to drive
2. Obtain passport
3. Obtain drivers license
4. Teach English in Thailand

This is the craziest and most (calculatedly) spontaneous plan I have ever come up with! (Does the word "calculatedly" even exist?) Unable to contain my excitement any longer, I share my plans with my friend, The Little Green Frog.

Frog: You want to go where?

Witch: To Thailand.

[silence]

Frog: Why?

Witch: To spread my wings and fly.

[silence]

Frog: Can't you spread your wings and fly in some other place?

Witch: What's wrong with Thailand?

Frog: You hate the beach! Thailand consists of beaches!

Witch: I don't hate the beach!

Frog: You can't even swim!

Witch: So?

Frog: Hello! TSUNAMIS!!!

Witch: Hello! Surf's up!!

Needless to say that my Slimy, Little Green Frog was not very supportive of the idea, but I have made up my mind! I WILL go to Thailand! Where did I put that surfboard? Oh, amending my plan of action:

5. Learn to swim!