Hi God. It is me again: The Witch. I don't talk to you as often as I'd like to, but I always try to make some room for you in my life. This morning I spoke to you and you came through to me in a big way. Yesterday you cakeame through for me as well. I haven't been feeling so well lately and it has a lot to do with my students and the fact that I can no longer establish a sturdy bond with them. As a result I often felt drained from the moment I actually open my eyes...but yesterday and today all that changed and it almost felt like the days when I was still close to my students...
Unfortunately, God, I failed you in a big way. This afternoon as I was on the train waiting for it to pull away from Cape Town station I made the mistake of buying a packet of chips from one of the vendors on the train. Unfortunately a misunderstanding had me thinking that he was a thief trying to deceive me. I recognise my folly after a while but I didn't correct myself, apologise to the guy or correct the woman I told about the event. In fact, I was so embarrased that I lied about it!
God, I am sincerely sorry about what I did. Lord, please forgive me for this sin that I have committed and Lord, I ask you with all my heart to bless that vendor abundantly. Supply to his needs and grant him his heart's desires. Look kindly on him, my Lord. He is a gentle, decent soul and not once during my battle of words with him did he say one word back to me. Bless him Lord. I feel that I should be saying more but right now I really can't think of anything more to say but to beg you to send only good things to this vendor. And also, to beg your forgiveness. Amen.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Despondent
I have not been blogging for a while. That is because I am no longer certain whether Italy will be my first destination.plans. For a while now, the Slimy Little Frog have been PMSing on me and, on further consideration, I decided that I would not be able to deal with those type of mood swings for 8 months! NO WAY!!! Therefore, I am hard pressed to make other plans.
I have resumed my drivers lessons (as the last lesson was particularly traumatising for me), and have started seriously looking for another job. Although I am actually looking for a job in the country, I am throwing the net wider in the hopes of finding a teaching job abroad.
It is very hard to find a good job in South Africa. A job where you look after it and it looks after you. While it would be natural for the children of South Africa to stay and contribute to the success of the country, it is also essential that the chilren eat and build a life for themselves. In order to get this, we need to look elsewhere, to some other country that can appreciate the skills that we have to offer. Thus, the big brain drain!
I have resumed my drivers lessons (as the last lesson was particularly traumatising for me), and have started seriously looking for another job. Although I am actually looking for a job in the country, I am throwing the net wider in the hopes of finding a teaching job abroad.
It is very hard to find a good job in South Africa. A job where you look after it and it looks after you. While it would be natural for the children of South Africa to stay and contribute to the success of the country, it is also essential that the chilren eat and build a life for themselves. In order to get this, we need to look elsewhere, to some other country that can appreciate the skills that we have to offer. Thus, the big brain drain!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Monday, April 2, 2012
When Opportunity Knocks
I've been told that Opportunity only knocks once. As I sit here, typing this post, I'm thinking of all the opportunities that I'd let slip through my fingers ... and I hate myself for it! Thus, another resolution has been added to my plan of action: Take opportunities as they come.
I wasn't always this enlightened. This breakthrough only occured about 2-3 Sundays ago, as I was jumping from site to site, researching the market for EFL teachers overseas (but specifically at Thailand although, on the Enchanted Frog's request, I also considered Italy). The excitement of travelling often goes hand-in-hand with the threat of being conned out of your money - or worse (just watch the movie "Taken"). This threat was constantly highlighted in my research and naturally it scared the living crap out of me! So much so, that I actually considered giving up on my plan of action rather than braving the Devil I don't know.
The Enchanted Frog must have been a handy man in a previous life because he always has this very macho urge to fix anything and everything (trust me, he actually advised me on how to give myself a french manicure that won't chip the next day. The trick: Don't paint too close to the edge). This became apparent later when, after communicating my fears to him, he immediately emailed me a solution: "How about working at my hotel next year? You will earn 1000 Euros a month. Accomodation and meals are included. What do you say?"
The average person would have thought: "Schweet!" and accepted this offer in a herartbeat. Not me though. I just changed the subject and he - being a gentleman and sensing my discomfort - let go of the topic...temporarily.
This topic came up again two days later as I was venting about how unfulfilling me career was at that point:
Frog: Have you thought about my proposal?
[dumb-founded silence]
Witch: You asked me to marry you?
Frog: I'm talking about the job offer. Would you like to work here ... in Italy ... at my hotel ... close to me?
Once again, the average person would have jumped at the chance. I, however, hesitated (though, to my credit, just for a second) while I thought about the kak day I'd had and about how unhappy my job had been making me recently. "Yes, I would love to." I responded and I haven't looked back since.
Opportunity only knocks once. However, Opportunity seems to have made a (much appreciated) exception in my case ... it is almost as if she knew that I wasn't going to repeat the same stupid mistake and decided to give me another chance. I know without a doubt exactly how lucky I am and I know that this opportunity won't come around again. Best pounce on it while I can.
I wasn't always this enlightened. This breakthrough only occured about 2-3 Sundays ago, as I was jumping from site to site, researching the market for EFL teachers overseas (but specifically at Thailand although, on the Enchanted Frog's request, I also considered Italy). The excitement of travelling often goes hand-in-hand with the threat of being conned out of your money - or worse (just watch the movie "Taken"). This threat was constantly highlighted in my research and naturally it scared the living crap out of me! So much so, that I actually considered giving up on my plan of action rather than braving the Devil I don't know.
The Enchanted Frog must have been a handy man in a previous life because he always has this very macho urge to fix anything and everything (trust me, he actually advised me on how to give myself a french manicure that won't chip the next day. The trick: Don't paint too close to the edge). This became apparent later when, after communicating my fears to him, he immediately emailed me a solution: "How about working at my hotel next year? You will earn 1000 Euros a month. Accomodation and meals are included. What do you say?"
The average person would have thought: "Schweet!" and accepted this offer in a herartbeat. Not me though. I just changed the subject and he - being a gentleman and sensing my discomfort - let go of the topic...temporarily.
This topic came up again two days later as I was venting about how unfulfilling me career was at that point:
Frog: Have you thought about my proposal?
[dumb-founded silence]
Witch: You asked me to marry you?
Frog: I'm talking about the job offer. Would you like to work here ... in Italy ... at my hotel ... close to me?
Once again, the average person would have jumped at the chance. I, however, hesitated (though, to my credit, just for a second) while I thought about the kak day I'd had and about how unhappy my job had been making me recently. "Yes, I would love to." I responded and I haven't looked back since.
Opportunity only knocks once. However, Opportunity seems to have made a (much appreciated) exception in my case ... it is almost as if she knew that I wasn't going to repeat the same stupid mistake and decided to give me another chance. I know without a doubt exactly how lucky I am and I know that this opportunity won't come around again. Best pounce on it while I can.
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Status Update: Plan of Action
On Wednesday I dragged my ass out of bed super early in the morning (like 5 am early) and hopped on my broom so that I could stand fourth in line in front of the Home Affairs building in Barrack Street, Cape Town ... for an entire hour! Precisely two hours later I walked out of Home Affairs with wet hands, leaving a broken soap dispenser and pink liquid all over their floor, embarrassed but content that in about 10 days I will be the proud holder of a passport. This is the first step in my commitment to (at least temporarily) shaking the dust of this country from my feet. And can I just say, if what you seek is service with a smile, Home Affairs S.A in Barrack Street, Cape Town is not the place for you!
The plans of action has been set in motion. I have started doing my drivers lessons and although at times it can be quite traumatising (I normally forget left from right, I forget certain important things like what to do with my handbrake, I cause tiny would-be accidents and then hyperventilate behind the wheel while trying not to cry), all-in-all I think I'm doing alright!
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Permission to take off (The Prequel): "Spread your wings and fly!"
It is strange how heavy an impact a parent's words and actions has on a child. It is also strange how a parent can be oblivious to this fact. Depending on the kind of parent you are and the example you set, your child can do one of two things (in my limited and unprofessional opinion): 1. She can model herself after you, or 2. She could decide to be the exact opposite of you. At the age of 16, I decided to enroll into group number two.
I always saw my mother as this weak, pathetic little woman, unable to protect herself or her children against the verbal onslaughts of her husband. I can even remember the exact moment I decided she was not worthy of being my role model: I had just had my heart ripped out of my chest and stamped on for the umpteenth time, insulted, hurt, and with eyes swollen from crying, and I was sitting at the diningroom table waiting for supper to be served. My mother brought my plate and placed it in front of me. Then she gave me a tiny smile and took her seat next to my father, far away from me. That was the moment I decided: "I will never be like you." For me, she was the classic "What Not to Do" manual, the worst example that a mother could ever set for her teenaged daughter. Motherhood is supposed to make you strong, not weak!
Unfortunately, it is also true that in order to vaccinate yourself against an illness, you need to take some of that virus and inject it into your own bloodstream. Thus, I took what I hated most, my father, and made it a part of me. Good thing: I could protect myself against his verbal onslaught and sling some of my own at him. Bad thing: I have now become the very person I hated the most. Strange, isn't it?
So, many years passed, with my father and I having the occassional tug of war, my mother nervously (and silently) wrenching her hands in the background somewhere and brother dearest falling in and out of drugs (a huge problem in Cape Town, especially among young people. The drug of choice among them is crystal methanephetamin, also known as "tik"). One Saturday morning, as my mother and I were having one of our (very rare) bonding sessions, talking and drinking coffee, the subject of my upbringing came up.
She apologised for having clipped my wings the way she did, asked me to understand that she only did it because it was her way of protecting but admitted that it went too far and for too long. Then made a strange request: "Spread your wings and fly. Things might go wrong. You might have to come back if they do, but your room has a return resident. It will never go to anyone else. It will always be there waiting for you should ever need to come back to it to lick your wounds." And in letting go, I believe, she became a woman worthy to be called mother...and I am honoured to call her so!
So for those of you who wondered how it came about that I suddenly got bitten by the travel bug, now you know and it is to her that I dedicate this blogpost. Thanks Mommy! :)
I always saw my mother as this weak, pathetic little woman, unable to protect herself or her children against the verbal onslaughts of her husband. I can even remember the exact moment I decided she was not worthy of being my role model: I had just had my heart ripped out of my chest and stamped on for the umpteenth time, insulted, hurt, and with eyes swollen from crying, and I was sitting at the diningroom table waiting for supper to be served. My mother brought my plate and placed it in front of me. Then she gave me a tiny smile and took her seat next to my father, far away from me. That was the moment I decided: "I will never be like you." For me, she was the classic "What Not to Do" manual, the worst example that a mother could ever set for her teenaged daughter. Motherhood is supposed to make you strong, not weak!
Unfortunately, it is also true that in order to vaccinate yourself against an illness, you need to take some of that virus and inject it into your own bloodstream. Thus, I took what I hated most, my father, and made it a part of me. Good thing: I could protect myself against his verbal onslaught and sling some of my own at him. Bad thing: I have now become the very person I hated the most. Strange, isn't it?
So, many years passed, with my father and I having the occassional tug of war, my mother nervously (and silently) wrenching her hands in the background somewhere and brother dearest falling in and out of drugs (a huge problem in Cape Town, especially among young people. The drug of choice among them is crystal methanephetamin, also known as "tik"). One Saturday morning, as my mother and I were having one of our (very rare) bonding sessions, talking and drinking coffee, the subject of my upbringing came up.
She apologised for having clipped my wings the way she did, asked me to understand that she only did it because it was her way of protecting but admitted that it went too far and for too long. Then made a strange request: "Spread your wings and fly. Things might go wrong. You might have to come back if they do, but your room has a return resident. It will never go to anyone else. It will always be there waiting for you should ever need to come back to it to lick your wounds." And in letting go, I believe, she became a woman worthy to be called mother...and I am honoured to call her so!
So for those of you who wondered how it came about that I suddenly got bitten by the travel bug, now you know and it is to her that I dedicate this blogpost. Thanks Mommy! :)
Permission to take off
As a 29-year-old woman, I am well aware that I am no longer a "spring chicken." I am slowly but surely creeping towards the winter stages of my life. This would not have bothered me so much if I had actually done something aside from BREATHING! DRASTIC action is needed! Thus, the plan for the next two years of my life took form:
My plan of action is:
My plan of action is:
- Learn to drive
- Obtain passport
- Obtain drivers license
- Teach English in Thailand
This is the craziest and most (calculatedly) spontaneous plan I have ever come up with! (Does the word "calculatedly" even exist?) Unable to contain my excitement any longer, I share my plans with my friend, The Little Green Frog.
Frog: You want to go where?
Witch: To Thailand.
[silence]
Frog: Why?
Witch: To spread my wings and fly.
[silence]
Frog: Can't you spread your wings and fly in some other place?
Witch: What's wrong with Thailand?
Frog: You hate the beach! Thailand consists of beaches!
Witch: I don't hate the beach!
Frog: You can't even swim!
Witch: So?
Frog: Hello! TSUNAMIS!!!
Witch: Hello! Surf's up!!
Needless to say that my Slimy, Little Green Frog was not very supportive of the idea, but I have made up my mind! I WILL go to Thailand! Where did I put that surfboard? Oh, amending my plan of action:
5. Learn to swim!
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